Me. At least after what I've been through.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
