I feel great
I just peed on a car
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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