They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
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Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance