Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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