You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
tell me about the eggs
Randomize