And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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