**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize