can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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