i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
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Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
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He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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