Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She's the barista slut.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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