It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize