I wannas sexs uuuuu
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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