so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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