they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
