there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
you will always have a special place in my vag
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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