She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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