hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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