In the future we'll all be gay
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
i've created a new STD.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
