Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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