READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
