anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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