I think my fart just growled at me.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
