the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
