I seem to have left my pride at pride
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
