I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize