Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
