So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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