i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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