His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize