So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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