just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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