I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
