Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
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Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
i need some magic done to my vagina
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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