hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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