Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
