I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
