I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
