The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
