My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
