You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
