i think my mom watched the whole time
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
