Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
