she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
