We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize