Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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