Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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