i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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