I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
