I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
