I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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