I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
