What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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