if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
