Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
