Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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