at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
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He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
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I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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