the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
This is my gift to your gina
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize