I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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