nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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