Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize