the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
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he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
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You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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