my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
barbara walters just said penis...
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
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